My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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