Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize