where am i from again
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize