Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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