Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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