it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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