Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize