pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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