if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
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Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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