So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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