Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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