Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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