He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
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I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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