I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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