I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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