she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize