omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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