can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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