THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize