he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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