Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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