No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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