You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize