Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
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I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
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I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize