So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize