the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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