i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize