it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
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Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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