he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
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He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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