So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
and you fell through a lawn chair
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize