U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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