too bad you live with your parents still
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize