imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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