I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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