obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize