i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize