Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize