____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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