Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
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I just had sex on a roof
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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