oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize