Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize