I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize