Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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