he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize