I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
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she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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