she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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