absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize