She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
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You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
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I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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