Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize