don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize